Use these four everyday leadership communication skills to reinforce or improve your emotional intelligence and relationships with those closest to you in your social circle.
Christmas can bring out the best – and worst – in families as close relations, but distant relationships reunite for a few days close proximity. Bringing people together and under an expectation of harmony can be nerve-wracking for some and can demand strong emotional intelligence in others. Similarly, as a manager or leader, the rounds of office, club and social circle Christmas parties (if Covid permits) add a new seasonal and emotional intelligence challenge dimension into whether colleagues are genuine friends and how close friendships really are. They can be stressful occasions if you place too much reliance on tinsel, wine and a paper cracker hat to transform existing social circles at work, during family get-togethers and Christmas parties.
There is a positive side to all this and one that can prove useful for leadership communications and relationships during the rest of the year. These events provide opportunities to utilise emotional intelligence during interactions and explore, extend, and develop new relationship routes that can carry forward in our work. Similarly, simmering family difficulties, often entrenched by many years of poor communication interactions, can be placed on a new pathway with the potential for better understanding and improved relationships.
So, make the most of this December’s opportunities and practice your emotional intelligence skills by following up on four of the most important leadership communication tips!
Giving family members and colleagues our full attention when listening to them is one of the greatest gifts you can give this Christmas. We have all listened with half an ear to a work colleague’s moans of missed promotion or an old aunt’s diatribe on their health or neighbour’s behaviour. Making polite noises but really thinking about other events.
As leaders, most of us are not as good at emotional intelligence, especially in active listening to others, as we think. When we demonstrate through posture and attentiveness that we are really listening, it gives a powerful boost to the person talking to us. Active listening can enhance junior colleague engagement, relationships with other colleagues in different organisational functions and bolster future relationships with new colleagues. Helping you to make a strong first or ongoing impression. In recalling their name, an issue discussed, or an anecdote spoken about when you meet again, you reinforce the positive impression you made during the Christmas event and began to build stronger connections.
Active listening can help you avoid the pitfalls and misunderstandings that often lead to family conflict and make the other person feel more valued.
So, always face the speaker directly and make eye contact; watch closely for non-verbal cues (what are they revealing through their body language, facial expressions, tone of voice and hand gestures); Do not interrupt and listen without comment, jumping to conclusions or judging them; Show that you are listening by giving out your own non-verbal cues; ask questions about how they felt at the time; and crucially in families do not impose your opinions and solutions.
Old habits and grievances are both hard to break, so you will need to make a conscious effort to change the tone of past conversations by becoming a more active listener. As a first step, try to improve the ratio of questions asked to comments returned. This will help you get into the habit.
During Christmas, people often take the opportunity to offload their problems and concerns to others. It may be thoughts on the on-coming new year or reflections on the past one. Others lock their feelings inside and try to deal with them internally.
As you interact with colleagues and family, please pay attention to how they respond to the event. If they seem to be withdrawing or appear socially isolated, try to engage them and bring them back into conversations. Consider if you have added to their negativity in any way and if there is anything you can do to help improve the situation.
Take care though, don’t press them to if they do not want to participate. Put yourself in someone else’s position. They may not be as keen to conga or play charades as you!
Does your mind tend to wander during less inspiring conversations and interactions? Take care, and it can be uncomfortable for a colleague to observe that your attention has drifted elsewhere, even more so if you are their senior within the organisation. They feel that they are less important to you. Unfortunately, distracted thinking is common within workplace interactions and in family get-togethers. You are definitely not alone in falling prey to it, and it is something that we can all improve as leaders in.
Being mindful of when your attention starts to wander helps you retain you ‘in the moment’ concentration of where you are, what you are doing and who you are speaking to. Being mindful and recognizing when your attention has started to wander can help bring your focus and active listening back to where it is needed.
Full focus is often a great leadership skill when renewing contacts with colleagues and family. The first or renewed impressions we make amongst others can define who we are and what we stand for in the eyes of others. In your work interactions before Christmas, try and make a lasting impression on those you have met or worked with for the first time over the year by giving them your full focus. Re-establish contact, pay court and give them your full attention during conversations – don’t stop to answer a phone or pass commands to others during your time together.
The pressures of Christmas social interactions can provide a time to reflect on, apply and re-assess your emotional intelligence and leadership communication skills. Do you recognise areas in which you can improve, where you struggle, and what you can improve on? By understanding your own emotional intelligence skills, you can better position yourself as a leader, social networker, and someone others wish to communicate with.
Practical advice and an early New Year’s resolution!